Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Life's ups & downs.

I bought a loft today. I - BOUGHT - A - LOFT - TODAY. I should be happy right? Well I am, sort of. But I'm sad. I'm happy, and sad, all at once & it's the weirdest feeling. I've always wanted a loft, so it's a dream come true. Except I'm pretty sure my "dream" had a man in it too. And now it's just me, starting over & it's scary.

After 6 years of a rocky relationship with Ryan, the time came where I had to admit to myself that things were never going to work. Year after year I kept hoping, believing that this man would "grow up" and give me what I needed. Sadly, he is who he is and as much as I love him, he was never going to change. Never going to realize what a gem I was, and appreciate me fully. So I had to make the hardest decision of my life, be true, and admit it was over.

When I met Ryan I was 23. The chemistry was insane, and kept me there until now. At 29, with my girlfriends surrounding as mothers, wives, expectant mothers, or not, it reminds me that it takes much more than chemistry to hold a relationship. It takes communication, togetherness, teamwork, commitment, and love. We had love, and chemistry. Teamwork & togetherness? Not so much.

I'm sad. I know it will get better, but I'm sad.

Thank God for a girls weekend coming up - I have the worlds BEST girlfriends. Supportive, loving, kind, intelligent, fun... I am the luckiest girl in the world to have them in my life.

Coming up, the excitement of decorating again... MY WAY. No arguments! No second opinions! Will be posting before & after's soon.....



Autumn Surprise said...

I love you gorgeous. One of the toughest and best decisions you will make. I can't wait to enjoy a glass of vino in your new fabulous home. XOXOXO

Josie said...

Little teary here... You've got one tight squeeze coming your way on Friday!